A few weeks ago, Jon asked for a separation. He's not happy. He wants to be happy. I can't say I've tried my absolute hardest to try to make him happy, but I did my best, considering I wasn't quite myself up there. I was depressed, lonely, sad, homesick, and kind of useless. I can't say that I blame him. At all. He deserves to be happy just as much as I do, and for 4 years we worked on it... I will be the first to admit that I didn't put my best into it, and as much as he tried, it wasn't what I needed either.
It kind of started when I was so adamant about coming back to the states the weekend after they let me back into Canada, after Dave & Logan's wedding. I thought it would be fine to come and go (as I've always dreamed of doing... literally, the best of both worlds!) But no, they wouldn't let me back in, and Jon hasn't let me forget it either. Especially because I was pretty much yelling at him when I left for the last time.
Since then, I've been living with the Desrosiers, adhering to their lifestye, schedule, and trying my hardest not to intrude (I was staying there rent-free for like 2 months), or over-stay my welcome. I think I've done a great job with helping out as much as possible, and also not intruding on their life. Well, it seems, in the process of doing so, Jon has felt neglected, and in 2nd place. He's had a lot of alone time to think things over, and he just doesn't want to be married anymore.
The nice thing about all this though, is that he's still my best friend, and we're better off as friends. Living together was near impossible. We were just too different, in so many ways. We truly are better off as friends. I know he'd agree too. I'm just glad it's been as healthy as it has been so far, mutual too. We tried for as long as we could, really. We're still ok enough to run a business together. So I'll stick around these parts for a while. Besides, I love my job. :)
For the first week or so though, I was in total denial/freak-out mode. And I totally know how Cristina felt from Grey's last season. The clip below is perfect.
So... I'm fine. I may need to change my blog address... and get a new banner... but that can be figured out later. Thank you in advance for your love, support, and prayers. :)
Thursday, November 8, 2007
So over...
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13 comments:
oh shelley!!! i'm so so so very sorry. you are right. you deserve to be happy, both of you. i wish i could do more to help - but prayers it is. keep me posted. and hang in there.
Thanks Natalie. :) I'm ok, no need to be sorry... if you knew the history we've had you'd be relieved... (just like my family is!)
Happy Birthday Dearie! :)
Ah, Shelley!! I'm so sorry too. (even though you just said it was OK!). What I want is for you to be happy -- and if this is what it takes, then maybe it will work out for the best. I'm sending prayers, love and hugs your way.
Thank you Jan. :) I really really do think I have the ability to be happier this way. Last week amidst the tears I said a prayer, and I almost instantly felt a wash of love and relief wave over me. I'm not alone, and everything will work out alright. I promise. :)
I hate it that you're trying to handle all this while being sick on top of everything else. Hang in there and let us know if there is anything at ALL that we could do to help.
It's not so bad anymore... I was sickest on my b-day and sunday. That was not fun. I love you gals. :) You've already done so so much for me. I hope you know that. I appreciate it too. :)
shelley - we've talked a few times & i know you're doing ok. not great, but better than just surviving. i know this is a difficult, sad time, but i also can hear a lot of relief in your tone. everything's a learning experience, right? :) you know i love you & am as "here" for you as i can be.
:) I know. I appreciate, and love that about you. Especially since you've kind of, almost been there... Love you Hayls.
Shelley-I will pray for you. I hope you are okay, and that everything can be resolved quickly. That's great if you can remain friends. I agree with Hayley everything is a learning experience.
Shelley, if Hayley says you are okay, you must be. I hope you are. We LOVE you!
Hi Shelley - just wanted you to know that you're in my thought's and prayers!
Thanks chicas! :) Just keep the prayers coming! One thing is for sure, I'm definitely not alone in all this! I love you gals!
Andy and I have been praying for you every night since we talked. I hope you do feel the peace and comfort that comes from the prayers of others--I know it makes a difference. Know that we are here for you and have an extra bedroom if you need it. It comes with mild weather patterns too! We wish you all the best and we love you.
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